What is Incest?
Incest is any sexual activity between members of the same family, other than a husband and wife. It includes anything from fondling to penetration and can include contact between parents, stepparents, or guardians and their children, between siblings, or among members of the extended family such as grandparents or cousins.
Incest remains one of the most under-reported crimes in America. There are few reliable statistics on incest, however we know that approximately 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by the time they turn 18 and that 93% of kids are assaulted by someone they know and trust (RAINN,2013). Often these abusers are family members who are seen as “upstanding” and “respectable” members of the community. Incest occurs to both boys and girls and happens in rich and poor families. Often there are other forms of abuse including physical and emotional abuse, domestic violence and alcohol and drug abuse, however incest can happen in any family.
What is the Difference Between Incest and Child Sexual Abuse?
Incest is a type of sexual abuse where the perpetrator is someone in the family. While all forms of sexual abuse can have negative effects, incest often has particularly damaging effects. The primary support system for the child is disrupted and the family often cannot provide safety for the child. It can also deeply damage trust and self-esteem since the abuse was at the hands of those who were supposed to protect and care for the child.
Sexual Abuse is NEVER the Fault of the Child
No matter what you believe, a child is NEVER to blame for sexual abuse. Many survivors experience intense guilt or shame for the ways they believe they caused or participated in the abuse, however it is always the fault of the perpetrator. Even if children do not disclose the abuse, it is not their fault. Silence is not consent.
Reasons Victims May Not Disclose
There are many reasons why victims may not disclose abuse including:
- the victim may believe or have been told that what is happening is normal
- the victim may love the abuser and not want them to get in trouble
- the victim may be afraid of what will happen to him or her due to threats from the abuser or other family members
- the victim may fear getting in trouble or being accused of doing something wrong
- the victim may not want to disrupt the family
- the victim may not know who to talk to or how to access help
Recovery
If you are a survivor of incest, you are not alone. There is hope for healing and recovery.
Evidenced-based mental health treatment can address a wide-range of issues and effects of the abuse. Talk to a counselor about what options are best for you. Seek out support from an organization designed to meet the needs of incest survivors or join a support group. Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Take the first step toward healing today!
What to do if you suspect child sexual abuse or incest
- If you suspect abuse of any child under 18, you are required to make a report to Child Protective Services at the Dept. of Social Services.
- If you believe the child is in immediate danger, call 911 or the local police department.
- Contact The Healing Place for additional guidance and assistance.
